Ashley Schilling
“Let me explain a little bit about "She told me a story" first. It's a welcoming meetup designed for women from the Malmö tech scene and beyond. We share stories and support one another, fostering connections that go deeper than 30-second elevator pitches or polished LinkedIn profiles. Over wine, coffee, and tea, we get to know each other on a personal level, setting aside job titles and social hierarchies - just real, human connections.”
Moving abroad as the partner of someone who's landed a job in a new country can be a challenging and lonely experience. In my situation, we moved to Malmö because my husband found a great job opportunity here. We were excited about relocating to Europe, but I hadn't given much thought to what my social life would look like once we got there. Socializing wasn't my top priority - I'm an introvert, so I underestimated the importance of making new friends.
However, living in a new country made me realize just how much effort is needed to build a social circle from scratch. Back home in the US, friendships and family connections were a given, developed over the years through childhood, university, and work. Without a job in Sweden, I didn't have the natural network that workplaces often provide. Suddenly, everyone I knew, except my husband, was over 4,000 miles away.
Although finding friends was initially challenging after moving, it turned out to be a silver lining. I got to start fresh and choose the people I wanted in my new life - my people.
One of the first moments I truly felt I had found my people was at the first "She told me a story" meetup. Along with three other women - Ammna Hellström, Victoria Sandberg, and Poliana Dias - who also felt somewhat isolated in Malmö, we decided to organize a local meetup for women. Our motivation stemmed from a shared feeling of not belonging to any existing community in the city, and our desire to build one where we and others could feel truly welcome.
Let me explain a little bit about "She told me a story" first. It's a welcoming meetup designed for women from the Malmö tech scene and beyond. We share stories and support one another, fostering connections that go deeper than 30-second elevator pitches or polished LinkedIn profiles. Over wine, coffee, and tea, we get to know each other on a personal level, setting aside job titles and social hierarchies - just real, human connections.
Our first meetup took place in April 2023 at The Ground, Malmö’s coziest co-working home, with the generous support of Laura PatelSmith, the CEO of The Ground. And thanks to our community's warm reception and enthusiasm, we've been hosting sold-out meetups there nearly every month since.
I think "She told me a story" resonates so well because there's a growing need for genuine, in-person connections, especially in today's world. Malmö, with its vibrant international community, is home to many women who've moved for various reasons - be it following a partner or pursuing studies or something else - and often find themselves seeking meaningful friendships. Our monthly meetups provide a warm, cozy space where over 30 women gather, sit in a circle, and share stories without any pressure. It's a simple yet powerful way to bond and find common ground. In this cozy circle of stories, laughs, and sometimes tears, some of us are figuring out how to make this new place feel like home.
Moving to a new country is an exciting adventure, but it can be tough when it comes to finding your people again. If you came as a "plus one," like I did, leaning only on your partner for all your social needs can bring a lot of stress into the relationship. My journey from feeling disconnected in Malmö to finding my people through "She told me a story" really shows how much we all need genuine connections. Starting this group made a big difference for me and turned out to be a lifeline for others who were also searching for their place. Each month, as we gather around, sharing stories and sipping on our drinks of choice, it's a powerful reminder of how simple conversations can turn strangers into acquaintances or even friends. So, if you've found yourself around Malmö, whether you followed your heart or your career, and you're wondering where your people are - chances are, they're out there, waiting to hear your story. Come find us.
/ Ashley Schilling
To the LinkedIn profile of Ashley Schilling
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